Taos MEN Defining the Model

Something Unique in Taos

January 17, 2010

It was a bright and warm day in mid-December. I met up with Fritz Hahn, LMSW and mentoring program director of Taos Men Engaged in Nonviolence (MEN), and another young man who was a brand-new mentor, to go see one little second-grade boy who was badly wishing for a mentor for Christmas. As we waited in the school office, a bright faced boy with neat hair and clean clothes walked up to the new mentor and, without speaking a word, looked up into the soft eyes of Dylan. I stood and watched as an instant connection was made. Robbie took Dylan by the hand and the two dashed off to the gymnasium to shoot hoops. We met up with the pair a few moments later. Robbie’s cheeks were flush and there was a definite glow in his eyes.

As we coursed through the brightly colored school hallways, Hahn explained, “Unlike most programs, we will work with ex-convicts because it’s all about what one is doing now, and accountability is vital.�

Robbie’s teacher, who wants to see him succeed in every aspect of his life, not just school, referred Robbie into the mentorship program. Dylan is the newest member in the cadre of community-minded men who give their time to help boys and girls of Taos. The mentorship is open and offered to any child that is at-risk in areas of academics, domestic violence, substance abuse and gangs. Taos MEN has 60 active mentors and 70 active mentees in their in-school mentoring program.

As we were leaving the school, a man named Ben was walking in to mentor another child and classmate of Robbie’s. Ben originally met his mentee five years ago when he and his brother wandered from their stark encampment on the mesa looking for food. Since that time, Ben has not only become a mentor but also a foster parent.

The Beginning
In December 2003, Vishu Magee was invited to the board of directors for the Community Against Violence (CAV), a local shelter for women and children that includes transitional housing, counseling, support groups and advocacy. Magee did more than serve on the board. He brought a greater vision to the public conversation and, with the help of photographer Donald Graham and graphic designer David Doyle, the three set out a spectacular media campaign.

By August 2004, over 100 Taos men responded to the invitation to organize. The men came from every sector of business and government. There were mayors, businessmen, leaders in the media, priests and pastors who answered the call.

Men Engaged in Nonviolence is launched in September 2004, with the help of special guest, NFL Hall-of-Famer Ron Yary. New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, former Taos Mayor Bobby Duran and the Taos School Board proclaim “Taos Nonviolence Week.�

Three years later, Magee and Crispin Clarke realize the program has been successfully incubated under the wing of CAV, so the pair develops a business plan, obtains its own non-profit corporation status and Men Engaged in Nonviolence, Inc. (Taos MEN) begins to fly solo.

Today
Now, they are not just flying solo, but have developed three additional pilot programs: Gang Resistance is Paramount (GRIP), a collaboration with Juvenile Justice; a fathering program and an activities program. Slated for 2010, another pilot program will be the Nonviolent Workplace Program.

Hahn estimates that Taos MEN is currently serving 250 kids in the Taos area.

Steve Moser, LMHC, is the Fatherhood Program Director. “This program provides one-on-one and group counseling and support. The men in this program learn how to father with the absence of domestic violence. It addresses the needs of each father ‘where they are.’�

Moser stated, “Our Fatherhood Program is unique in that it is more comprehensive than other models we looked at. We want to know the subtle factors that keep extreme domestic violence occurring throughout the community.�

Because of the increase of “parenting as a result of casual encounters,� the complexities go beyond economic factors, substance abuse, incarcerations, poor parenting and poor communications. Many more fathers are absent in the home environment, leaving the single mothers and their children as the most vulnerable in society. Taos MEN truly believes that men have to take responsibility for their own lives and the well being of their children. The organization feels that it provides the tools and support for men to do just that throughout the entirety of their lives.

Moser offered, “I do not know of any other programs like ours that offers support to men during the prenatal stage as well as the birth of their child. They offer parenting classes and therapy that is geared to help them to end the intergenerational violence.

“We now have a couple of mentors that started out as mentees in the Chrysalis Alternative School.

“Taos MEN is committed to the notion of nonviolence as any action that does not hurt someone else. It accomplishes this philosophy through unconditional positive regard, empathy, alliance relationships and anger management, thus changing one’s worldview,� Moser stated. “We ask, ‘How do you want to be different than your dad?’ and we never give up on a kid—and we redefine how we as a society view women and success.�

Moser left me with a final pearl: “Taos is such a great rural community in which to experiment, because we have great resources and a great legal system.�